Candwich’s Even Darker Side: “Product”

Don’t read this article.  You think it’s going to be about Candwich, the “sandwich in a can” that has been ripping up the Internet tubes with memes-of-fire?

More so, it’s an exploration of the dark side of language and how a certain word has lobotomized all of us consumers:

Product.

Candwich is a sandwich product, as they state.  Why?  Well, I’ll tell you why, and you’re going to sit there and like it.

A Short History of the Misuse of “Product”

The word product has enjoyed despicable notoriety since around the early 2000s as being overused and unnecessary.  Now, everything has this product suffix slapped on.

Product is used in 2 main ways:

1. Because the Thing is Essentially Fake: Orange juice product.  It’s 12% juice; 86% high fructose corn syrup; and 2% Fuck-You-Consumer.
2. To Make the Intangible Appear Tangible:  Mortgage loan product.  It’s mysterious shit we’re doing for you, Mr. and Ms. Homebuyer–more a service than anything–but we’ll call it a product so you feel like you’re getting something you can hold in your hands.

In the case of Candwich, it’s already a laughable concept.  Oh – and it doesn’t exist, either. Their site tells us:  “Check Back Soon for Product Release Dates!”  What was that, two years ago already?